Less than 15 days. That’s all I have to say…
Quoted from a magnificent sir who wrote this less than 15 days ago.
So here I am less than 15 days later. Everything that was supposed to happen has happened. The bad part of creating so many memories is having to deal with the nostalgia and sadness that comes afterwards.
Today I left behind 23 people who I grew to love. Some were closer than others but I still treasure all of them.
I still can’t believe how fast time goes by. A couple of years from now I’ll find myself looking back and trying to make out if it was all true or if my brain is making some of it up (because it loves doing this). Maybe some of these memories will lose their value over time. Not that I want them to, but who knows what could happen in all the tomorrows that are to come.
I hate goodbyes so much. As I’m here typing this and everything just floods up my mind I’m just not sure if another tear will escape my eyes. It all happened so fast. Thoughts kept racing through my mind and didn’t stop to refuel. It was non stop bombing in my mind. I didn’t have time to process what was happening. No time to act like I wish I would’ve acted. And I just sit here thinking of what I could’ve done.
The weather doesn’t help either. The day itself is depressed. Cloudy, rain, cold, not the smallest hint of light. I long for a friend to be here just to talk or just to simply fill up the empty space. The harder you try to stop the more you remember.
To quote Owl City’s Blog (Adam Young):
It wasn’t “goodbye forever” per se, but that didn’t matter because this was the sort of goodbye that produces dull, persistent, throbbing heartache, the kind that takes a long time to heal. It was the close of a long chapter of life, the kind of conclusion that keeps you awake for days, pacing the house with the lights out and the phone off. This particular sad farewell left a hole in my chest and a bittersweet taste in my mouth, as saying goodbye has a way of doing. It tasted like past romance, a bouquet of indelible memories laced with lost love and confused emotions, the flowery passion and affection of two starry-eyed dreamers, tangled up in the ribbons of a faded fairy tale.
That will be all for today. Now I’ll continue to think and remember. Battling with myself to keep all sad emotions away.