My inspirations

I went to see my family in Florida, I’m back now. I miss them and I want to go back there and stay forever. But no need o worry, I’m planning on moving there in the next 2-3 years.

That is in some way related to the title of this post. Moving on.

I have a quite a few inspirations in life. People, things, anything can be an inspiration.And though I can say the whole world, everything in existence is an inspiration to me, I’m only going to list the main ones.

  1. My family
  2. Photography
  3. Music
  4. Sunny days
  5. God

I could make a giant list of things but I wont. I’d like it if you could share your inspirations with me.  You know, to have a sense of community.

: )

-Wil


Goodbyes, Memories, Nostalgia

Less than 15 days.  That’s all I have to say…

Quoted from a magnificent sir who wrote this less than 15 days ago.

So here I am less than 15 days later. Everything that was supposed to happen has happened.  The bad part of creating so many memories is having to deal with the nostalgia and sadness that comes afterwards.

Today I left behind 23 people who I grew to love. Some were closer than others but I still treasure all of them.

I still can’t believe how fast time goes by. A couple of years from now I’ll find myself looking back and trying to make out if it was all true or if my brain is making some of it up (because it loves doing this). Maybe some of these memories will lose their value over time. Not that I want them to, but who knows what could happen in all the tomorrows that are to come.

I hate goodbyes so much. As I’m here typing this and everything just floods up my mind I’m just not sure if another tear will escape my eyes. It all happened so fast. Thoughts kept racing through my mind and didn’t stop to refuel. It was non stop bombing in my mind. I didn’t have time to process what was happening. No time to act like I wish I would’ve acted. And I just sit here thinking  of what I could’ve done.

The weather doesn’t help either. The day itself is depressed. Cloudy, rain, cold, not the smallest hint of light. I long for a friend to be here just to talk or just to simply fill up the empty space. The harder you try to stop the more you remember.

To quote Owl City’s Blog (Adam Young):

It wasn’t “goodbye forever” per se, but that didn’t matter because this was the sort of goodbye that produces dull, persistent, throbbing heartache, the kind that takes a long time to heal. It was the close of a long chapter of life, the kind of conclusion that keeps you awake for days, pacing the house with the lights out and the phone off. This particular sad farewell left a hole in my chest and a bittersweet taste in my mouth, as saying goodbye has a way of doing. It tasted like past romance, a bouquet of indelible memories laced with lost love and confused emotions, the flowery passion and affection of two starry-eyed dreamers, tangled up in the ribbons of a faded fairy tale.

That will be all for today. Now I’ll continue to think and remember. Battling with myself to keep all sad emotions away.

 : )

-Wil


Fast Forward

I’ve enjoyed the past year so much. Too bad it’s nearly the end for so many things that I’ve come to love. Friends, places, mostly friends.

Time is a wonderful thing. We have so much yet so little. There are ocassions when you want something to end badly and when you’re finally close to the end, you wish it would stay. You hate yourself for not enjoying the time you had to the max. Is this the what older people feel when they know they’re reaching the end of their lives? Do they look back and say “All the things I could have done… all the things I could have enjoyed. But I didn’t because of ignorance…”?

We long for more time though we know it isn’t possible. They always tell us to not waste our time, to enjoy it as much as possible, but we never listen. Then we see they were right when it’s too late.

Okay, time to stop talking in general, time to talk about me.

Less than 15 days.  That’s all I have to say…

It feels like I’ve been living in fast forward and everything is just passing by. And  I can’t do anything about it.


Ten Facts About Me

I am weird.

 Or am I just crazy? Probably a mixture of both. That’s about all I wanted to tell you today but I’ll extend it a bit more. I’ve never really introduced myself so I’m going to take this opportunity to do so!

  1. My name is Wil-something, just call me Wil or Willie
  2. I’m a teenager
  3. I am a guy
  4. Science and history fascinate me
  5. I love science-fiction
  6. I love reading
  7. I play guitar, bass, piano, harmonica and ukulele(its my favourite)
  8. I want to study something related to creative arts
  9. I like drawing and animation
  10. I love photography and filming things

I started this blog over a year ago and I lost interest in it for a while. That’s changing right now as you can see. I’ve really seen an improvement on site traffic and of course, my writing quality has also improved. I noticed I started out pretty good but then gradually went downhill with my writing, I’m trying to fix that.

This blog acts like my own little internet diary or journal in which I share my thoughts. My posts are practically conversations that go on with myself in my head but I try to make them a little more interesting for you, inter-dimensional-space-time traveller! I really hope you enjoy your visit.

: )

-Wil


I’m a planner

Ideas and actions.

Planning and performing.

I have a very big  problem with these things. You know when you get these really good ideas at night and you think “I’m going to do this tomorrow” and then the morning comes and you just realize how stupid that idea was? Or at least you think its stupid. I’ve learned that when that happens to me no matter how stupid it might look later I should sill try because sometimes it will turn out to be a good decision. But sometimes this isn’t the case.

I’m a planner. I plan things, I over analyze. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. It’s good because you think of the consequences of your actions, therefore you normally choose he right thing to do. Or what you think is the best thing to do by your standards. But sometimes over thinking things can ruin everything. I plan things in my head, I visualize situations. But then when the moment of truth comes sometimes it doesn’t go as planned. Maybe you got nervous or some external factor you hadn’t though about interfered (You never think about everything that might happen).

Lately I’ve just been trying to restrain myself from thinking too much about something I have to do. I try not to plan things. Not exactly plan, just to go a little too far. It’s not easy but with enough mental discipline I’ll get it done. Like I said in a previous post, this is part of a personality I’ve developed myself.

No picture today since I don’t have my camera here.

: )

-Wil


Bubble of Thoughts

“My thoughts are like stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”

-John green, The Fault in Our Stars

I have nothing to write about. No, I have many things I want to say I just can’t organize them. Repeating that quote in my head helps a lot and it can help you too. If you don’t have any ideas, just think you do, and you will.

I’m feeling a bit bored today. No, not a bit. I’m feeling very bored. Have you ever been so bored that you literally just want to lie in bed and cry. Not because you’re sad about anything, it’s just the boredom. I feel that now. Maybe a bit of writing will make me feel better.

I’ve been writing a song on my ukulele. It’s a love song. I don’t have much experience writing love songs, or at least good love songs. In fact, I have no experience writing any type of song. This one is going really good tough. It has some serious stuff as well as some humorous, nonsensical lyrics. I’m feeling quite a bit creative lately. Remember back in early November when I wrote that post about being extremely happy? Its something similar. And guess what? I did get into photography.

They say surrounding yourself with creative people will help spark your own creativity and that is something I have confirmed. I’ve had a really great burst of inspiration and ideas. Though it might not show through my writing but I have. Or maybe it does show since I’m posting fairly frequently. Well, we can’t say that when I’ve only written two posts for now but you’ll see!

Today I feel like just switching off my mind and relaxing. You know, not think about anything. I want to go read a book somebody lent me, I want to create some fun little sketches. Maybe write a story as well? I want to finish writing that song I mentioned, maybe even start another one after I’ve finished that one! I want to take some pictures too. Maybe go some place and photograph something unusual. Oh but wait… I can’t drive. My backyard will do, there must be thousands of beautiful things I haven’t discovered yet.

So I’ll be going to do those things now. This is a picture I just took of my ukulele. It’s not the best I’ve ever taken but I like it.

Also, if you want to come and say hello and be my friend and stuff, here’s a link to my Twitter and my Tumblr.

: )

-Wil


Scared of people

Over the course of my life I’ve been developing a sort of personality that I now hope I hadn’t adopted. I’ve shut myself off from the world and become a very big introvert. I mean, being an introvert is not bad, in fact I love being one! But sometimes it just goes to the extreme. Today while talking to someone who is very close to me I couldn’t even look them in the eye. Sometimes I  just start sweating and trip on words. (Let me clear up that this happens to me with a lot of people, not just this one). It gets very frustrating at times.

After careful evaluation of my actions I have come to the conclusion that I’m scared of people. So as a kind of self-therapy I’ve decided I’m going to let go of my fears on this post.

People are just human beings. Why am I scared of them? Lets list the reasons:

  1. I worry too much of what others could think
  2. I over think everything

That’s about all I can think of. But we can conclude that my problem is over thinking and I do a lot of it. Just imagine thinking for about 10 minutes if you should send a message to someone through Facebook. It’s not only in real life but also on the internet when there are so many barriers between me and the other person.

I’m horrible at starting conversations and even worse at keeping them going. When somebody asks me something I normally kill the conversation right there. Even with my family. Once my father asked me a question and I answered with a simple “yes” and a spot on explanation that required no further discussion. My mother pointed out to me that I was too fast on killing the conversation and also too aggressive. Of course, it isn’t my intention to do so, it just happens.

Telephones. Cellphones. Calls. Video Calls. Those are the names of my worst nightmares. I’m always scared of how my voice might sound on through the phone, or how my face might look through the webcam or camera.

Now that we’re done with the causes, naturally we should discuss solutions. What can I do to stop over thinking? What do I do to stop worrying so much about things? People say “Talk to someone” but I already have and it hasn’t helped much. Writing this whole posts costs as talking to someone, maybe it’ll help me pour out my worries, even if I’m literally talking to myself. (Talking to myself is something I quite enjoy, I don’t mind saying it. NO I’M NOT CRAZY!) . Right now I honestly feel better.

Being so shy is a very big problem in my life. Often losing opportunities for things that should be done right when you have the chance.(If I know you and you’re very close to me you might have an idea of what I’m talking about). Tomorrow morning I will make sure the first thing that goes through my mind is “I will not be shy” and I’ll keep repeating it. They say positive thinking is very powerful.

Alright, I’m feeling much better now. Thank you for helping me. I leave you with this picture of a thing:

: )

-Wil